Thinking and writing have always been strong skills for me, but in the past few years I find myself more and more constipated when it comes to writing. I blame technology and the modern condition for this. I need to be consuming more mental roughage but take those two hours I have and spend them on Pinterest followed by complaining about how I don't have any time.
The digestible format has lead me to start thinking in sound bites. And while it is important to think about the reach and sharablity of anything you put out there, will anyone even care about my current constipation and why do I even care if they do our they don't? The demand and judgement of an invisible audience has become an increasing issue for me over the past few years.
The judgement of the other makes me feel like I don't have anything worth saying, but no one really is judging me. It is my own judgement of myself that is the issue. The past few weeks has brought me to refocus on some priorities in my life. I am not sure if we as individuals have cycles where we want to do certain types of things during certain times of the year, but I am starting to notice that when spring comes I start feeling more creative.
I have slowly been trying to incorporate more creativity into my life. I do it, and then I stop doing it. I try to blog more. I do it, and the I stop doing it. I pressure others to read more and then fail at it myself. The only thing I can think about lately is napping. I don't want to live my life that way anymore, but I am not sure how to fix it.
I am starting here and changing how I do things, even if only for today.
Every blog post and Facebook post becomes about facing insecurities and overcoming the prison of fear I have created for myself.